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May. 18th, 2012 @ 10:37 pm An interview with Karira - work in progress

Karira 3.5Collapse )

Ease the pain?
terezi
Feb. 23rd, 2012 @ 01:18 am A reminder
Words of wisdom from Silent Bob

One year from now, this moment won’t matter at all.

You will either have what you’re aiming for today or not, but the anxiety you’re currently feeling will subside to the point of irrelevancy.

The stress we invent or foster is not real: It’s literally imagined. Yes, there are and will always be external forces that complicate our day-to-day; but they’re rarely of the life-threatening variety anymore. Now we manufacture mental monsters to keep ourselves from achieving. In this part of the world, we’ve eliminated most of our predators, only to replace them with the beast we’re powerless against: Self Doubt.

Nobody can hold you back in life as much as your own fear that you’ll fail. I’ll save you some time: you will fail. Sometimes spectacularly.

But aggregate enough failures, and sooner or later, you’ve got so much experience that you cannot fail. Then, life becomes a series of seemingly easy breaks. The formula for success is repeated failure. So head into your meeting knowing that, win or lose, you’ve already succeeded today.

There are only 100 steps on the road to success, but the first 99 are fraught with failure. Get by them, however, and you get to the top.

-via windsorblue


Ease the pain?
terezi
Jul. 8th, 2011 @ 07:11 pm And stuff
Tags:
So life is happening. Here are some updates:

1) School is hard. Motivation is hard to come by. I don't know if I've managed to do any homework at all this semester, and my grades, while passing, are nothing to brag about. But I am passing. I'm just really frustrated at the incredibly slow pace this semester. Class is incredibly boring, and the slower we go, the less I want to be there.

2)Clinicals are challenging in a way that makes me happy. I have been in Surgical ICU, CCU, CICU, Telemetry, Ortho/Neuro, OB, Radiology Specials (MRIs are amazing and interesting. CTs are incredibly dangerous and you should never have one unless there is no other way. They are little cancer machines. Also money machines. Hence, Doctors will send you for CT scans. Mmmm profit.), and NICU.
They say every nurse has a "thing." This thing (some have more than one) is something they cannot handle. I have one instructor who cannot suction Trachs. It makes her vomit. Another instructor can't watch incisions be made. Blood, gore, anything else she can handle, but she cannot watch the scalpel enter flesh. She passes out. My thing is something I've been waiting to find my thing with growing curiosity, as it has been mentioned more than once that I'm pretty hardcore about blood and gore, and I will fearlessly touch anything as long as I have gloves one. It just doesn't bother me.
My thing is dying babies. And mothers who pray and cry and can't do anything but sit helplessly by and watch their babies die. It's the most awful thing I've ever seen. Wednesday, I went to NICU for the first time. I was happy to be there. I thought is would be a place where you see tiny little lives fought for and death held at bay by the valiant efforts of medical staff and the love of mothers that hold them close.
I was wrong.
Don't get me wrong, there are stories like that in the NICU: stories of babies who should have never made it and did, of parents that prayed and fought and loved so hard that miracles happened. Those things are miracles for a reason.
One baby I was with, a little boy we'll call Tommy, was a sweet, happy, robust little baby. He was full-term, a good weight, and had the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. He was also in withdrawls from street Meth, which his mother had used the entire time she was pregnant. Tommy shook, cried, and hurt. There is almost nothing they can do for a baby in withdrawls except to keep him as healthy as possible. Some medicines held, but it's a fine line between helping ease the pain and making something else worse when the patient isn't even a month old. But Tommy was doing well. He was coming out of the worst of the symptoms, and was really starting to require what most babies get from day 1: physical affection.
And his mother was nowhere to be seen. Not only had she never come to see him, she hadn't even called. Of course, he wouldn't go home with her anyway because of the drugs, but still... someone should have been there. Anyone. That little baby needed love and, thought they did the best they could, NICU nurses are as busy as any other nurse and can't give all they want to to the babies in their care. They aren't family.
The other little baby, though, was a sadder story. We'll call him Sam. He was three days old, born at just over 30 wks. He was tiny. He was also hooked up to so many tubes and masks that you could only touch his hands. When he was born, he seemed fine, then he started pulmonary shunting because his lungs were underdeveloped. They rushed him to NICU. When he got there, he was purple. They intubated the newborn and put him on a venitilator. Then they hooked up the ECG wires, the pulse-ox monitor, three umbilical catheters, and an NG tube. when I saw him Wednesday, he was getting a little better, in that he was on a CPAP instead of a ventilator.
When his mother came in to see him, she started sobbing immediately. She was just a couple of years older than me, and wanted to hold her baby, but couldn't. She could even see his face for the mask thingy. She seemed to just be completely unable to handle the sight of him in that condition. Then one of the nurses explained to me that her (Sam's mom) mother had been in Same-Day Surgery just about two weeks before for some little routine surgery. Nothing big. The doctors came and told the family she was fine and in recovery. Ten minutes later she was dead. Just a freak accident. Then Sam's mom goes into labor 10 weeks early and her baby is so sick. It broke my heart.
Then, while she's standing there touching Sam's hand, the Neonatologist come to tell her that Sam's left lung has collapsed and he needs a chest tube. I thought she was going to collapse. I had to leave because I was crying too. Losing a mother, having your first baby, having a sick baby that may not make it... any of those three things can bring a person to their knees. Having all three happen at once when you're only 27 years old? I think I would have broken down too.
I am incredibly grateful for the nurses that can handle that job every day and still manage to find joy in the happy stories in life. I am not one of them. I just can't handle the injustice of a dying baby. It's not fair. I know that nothing is, truly but... it's just so sad.
The first trimester is scary, of course. But then you get past that and the fear maybe eases. The worst danger is past. But no. So many things can happen. Even if you have a picture perfect pregnancy, there are people like my Nanny's friend: she went into labor with her third child on his due date and everything went so smoothly that the doctor joked that they would all be home in time for dinner. They could have never known that the baby's umbilical cord was too short. It ripped out of the plancenta while the baby was in the vaginal canal. Before they could get him out, he suffocated.
And even if you have the baby, even if he's healthy, even if he makes it to his first birthday, there's no guarantee he'll get to go any further. Life is the constant threat of danger. A stray car, an unexpected illness, a freak accident, any of them can take everything you love from you in an instant. and you will never know until it's too late.
*deep breath*
...Sorry. I've been thinking too much about this. tl;dr: NICU is awful.

3) I went to Laughing Winds twice in the last few weeks. Both times were exactly what I needed. I jumped off cliffs, broke arrows, walked on fire, and sweated. It was glorious. I feel much better than I did before, much calmer and more able to cope.

4) I've discovered Florence + the Machine. I am in love. Have you heard Howl? No? WHY AREN"T YOU LISTENING TO IT ALREADY GOGOGO~!

5) I just finished reading the A Song of Ice and Fire series (well, the first four) and cannot wait for the last one. I was in love within 40 pages of GoT, and by the halfway through it I was obsessed. One of the best books I've ever read, and the rest of the series has been quite good too. I love authors who aren;t afraid to hurt and kill characters we love. As awful as it is to see, it's refreshingly honest too. Bad things happen to the good, the bad, the noble, the beautiful, the ugly, and everyone in between. It's how the world works. I cannot wait for the next book!

I'm tired of typing now so I guess that's all. >_>
Ease the pain?
terezi
Apr. 9th, 2011 @ 12:27 pm Writer's Block: Give me a sign
If your astrological sign has changed, do you think your personality more resembles your current or past sign?

I.

Hate.

Ignorance.

I especially hate it when the media gets a piece of information, mangles it, and then vomits it for weeks into everyone's heads until the majority believes it. Do a little research for Christ's sake.

And LJ, I expected better of you and the people here. We have the internet, ergo we have Google. LOOK IT UP. Astronomy and Astrology are two completely different fields, and the signs have not changed. At all.

>_<
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terezi
Apr. 3rd, 2011 @ 11:58 am Writer's Block: Soul together
If you could have the ability to hear everything your best friend or romantic partner was thinking, but you couldn't switch it off (or tell them), would you want it?

No.

I have had this thought before. When you have a group of friends that plays the "what superpower" game, this question comes up a lot. It rarely has the circumstance of not being able to turn it off, but that doesn't change the answer for me.

Telepathy is not something I would want, or would force on somebody. So many people have a constant stream of  nonsense in their heads that I would not want to be subjected to it day in and out. And so many thoughts or observations are impolite, even cruel, that I feel my belief in the good of humans might be crushed if I were to be captive audience to it.

I'm not saying *people* are cruel, not at all, but our thoughts are just the truth as we see them. We don't say a good portion of what we think, and for a good reason. While you may look at a friend and realize they've put on weight or gotten an unflattering haircut, the thought is often nothing more than a brief flash of recognition and you would never think of saying it aloud for fear of hurting them. (Some people would say it. These people are blunt, even tactless. I am not.) And we might not even think it in a critical way, but it would come across that way.

Look at little children,. Before we are taught to put a filter between brain and mouth (a talent some never grasp), we are always at a risk of hurting someone's feelings. Children look at a man in a wheelchair and do not hesitate to ask why he is different. They see a woman with a big belly and wonder aloud if she is pregnant or just fat. They rarely realize that what they are saying is hurtful. Many would feel bad if they knew that they had made someone else upset. But that is the challenge of growing up: learning when to speak truth, when to evade it, and when to be silent.

If I am with my friends, I don't want to hear their constant thoughts that refer to me. I am constantly afraid of what others think. I don't want to know how often I am right. I don't want to know how much or little they value me in their thoughts. I am content to try to see that in actions. I don't want to know when they lie, especially if they do so for my benefit. I don't want to know that they are thinking of something they'd rather be doing while we hang out. It would make me so unsure.

And, oddly, I don't want to know that they love me through those thoughts. Let's say you have the power to read minds, and you use it to confirm the love of others. How unfair. You have just... crippled your emotions. Love, like faith, is something you must feel to understand. You can't base it on surety. Then there is no room for belief, for trust, and both faith and love require these two things above all others. If you go about your life being reassured of another's love through their thoughts, are you ever giving yourself room to truly love them back? Or are you giving them a relationship built on your own comfort and selfishness.

On the other hand, if you do love someone, if your world honestly revolves around them, how many kind lies can you stomach, knowing the truth? How many times can you listen to them observe someone else with casual appreciation (not even real intent) before you feel inadequate? How often can you hear the fleeting thoughts on your changing appearance or habits without falling prey to self-doubt? Do you want to know that they were molested by their uncle or raped by a friend before they are willing to tell you? Do you want to hear their self-destructive thoughts? Could you live with that knowledge and not try to help (meaning that you might have to explain how you found out, and shatter their trust)?

Love and life are lived in ignorance of another's thoughts for good reason. We are only human. We have our secrets, or little lies, our hidden truths, and they are ours to keep or expose at our will, depending on our trust in another. Lose that, and you lose the basis for connection.

... Like I said, I've thought about this a lot.
Ease the pain?
terezi
Mar. 19th, 2011 @ 12:34 pm Writer's Block: A super debate
If you could either have the powers of Spider-man or the Green Lantern, which would you choose, and why?

I'm not even sure why this is a question. Spiderman has agility, the webs, spider-sense, and a few other little things. And those are cool. Green Lantern can make <i>anything he can imagine</i> with his ring. I mean. Is this really a debatable topic? This isn't about which hero is cooler. It's about the powers. No question who would kick who's ass in that fight.

Swinging from buildings? Bitch, GL can fly. In Space. Nonchalantly.

C'mon, give me a better hero pairing and we'll do this for realsies.

(Also. Inb4 "Batman." He doesn't really have powers. He's cool, I know. But his only power is being The Goddamn Batman. Without the money and issues (note: not super powers), that is just a kick-ass glare. )
Ease the pain?
terezi
Feb. 14th, 2011 @ 09:25 pm Writer's Block: Hit the road, Cupid
If you had the power, would you permanently eliminate Valentine's Day?

How selfish would you have to be to want to get rid of a holiday that brings joy to people?

I might not give a damn about Vday, and yeah i think it's silly, but I'm also a sometimes-cynical 24 year old who has never had a boyfriend. That feeling might change if I had a reason to care. I doubt it, since I think devoting a day to love is a bit like devoting a day to breathing; it's something you shouldn't have to be reminded to do.

The point is: I would never intentionally take away something that brings happiness unless it brought sorrow to many more. If you hate Valentines day, ignore it. I promise, you can. I forgot it was today until I saw this status. It's like people watching/reading Twilight just to bitch about how much they hate it. It's dumb. The world - and the internet - is a big place. You can completely ignore anything on/in it that you want to. Let people be happy. Don't take away their little pleasures because you're incapable of empathy.

tl;dr: no.
Ease the pain?
terezi
Jan. 7th, 2011 @ 09:12 pm (no subject)
Sometimes, you can find a way to smile while your heart shatters inside your chest. And then you wonder what it will take to kill you if you can survive this kind of horrible pain. Because, in the moment while you watch everything you love turn away without a second thought, it feels like it would be a thousand times kinder to just be able to lie down and let that breaking heart be the last pain you ever feel.

Posted via LjBeetle
Ease the pain?
terezi
Dec. 23rd, 2010 @ 09:42 pm Avariel 1

Avariel hated formal dinners. They were all about parading what you had in front of those who had less, hoping that the fear and awe you inspired would make them serve you, or at least no rebel. And then you had all the people who were your equals or superiors, and you had to entertain them and seem witty and pleasant without being so much of a threat that they marked you or so little that they disregarded you. Social obligations like this were not about pleasure, but status. To maintain or advance that status, careful planning had to be given to each word and action; moderation in all things, as her Nurse would have said.

Avariel hated moderation, and she had never been one for planning.

That might have been why, while her father held court in the main hall of their home, she was down in the cellars, avoiding everyone. She had made a nice little nest down here over the years, one that most of the servants were content to ignore. They understood that she needed a place she was not monitored, and this was one of the few places in her father’s home that he did not have a constant eye on.

The cellars were always cool, never cold, and kept spotlessly clean by a very enthusiastic and meticulous Cook. Avariel often vanished down into them when she needed a few moments to herself. The cellars were huge, had once been a network of rooms under the building complex that was now the Baron’s Keep. Of course, large portions of the network had collapsed in the last few centuries, and the servants didn’t like going any further into them than they had to in order to clean, so some of the little nooks and crannies were Avariel’s own personal kingdom. She knew every little cubby in the rock, every tunnel and door leading outside (almost all of them were blocked by centuries of rubble now, but they were there).

Tonight, with all the bustle and activity in the keep, she had come down early, only stopping by the kitchens to grab a bowl of tasties and a flask of cool cider to take with her into the dark rooms below. She had brought her loot to the far corner of the main room. It wasn’t as far as some of her normal haunts, but it was closer to the kitchens (the door to the cellar was located in a pantry off the main kitchen, just a simple trap door that opened to a narrow and steep set of stair) and to delicious snacks. that made up for the lack of privacy.

Now she was curled up on a pile of old rags and blankets she had gathered down here over the years, a honey roll in one hand and a thin book in the other. She wasn’t really an avid reader, though her father’s library was one of the bigger ones within miles, but she didn enjoy some of the pre-cataclysmic books. They spoke of a world of high towers and amazing technology. Avariel loved reading about people flying through the air in great birds of metal, or speaking over miles with small devices that could be carried in a pocket and brought out for use on a whim.

She was almost halfway through this book, but she had been reading it for some time. It wasn’t too long, but she kept the ones she was actively reading down here in her secret room to keep anyone else from finding them. Her father would never notice a book missing from his library, but he would certainly notice one in her room. So she kept her favorite books and belongings in one of the little cubbies she had found over the years, a thigh-high doorway that led to another small room and then to one of the many tunnels leading off the grounds. It was one of the few that actually allowed passage, but Avariel had never followed it to the end to see what lay outside. she was not a foolish servant to be scared of ghosts and monsters... but there really was no point in taking the chance.

From the sounds from the kitchen, the party was in full swing. Her father, the Baron, was entertaining another Lord from the next settlement over, a man Avariel had never heard of and didn't care a whit about. Rumors among the servants speculated that he had brought marriage tokens to the feast. Avariel was positive that just made her plan to hide away all the better. She had no desire to be married to a man like her father, and it took a hard man to rule these lands. She would not live that life.

She finished her honey roll and cider and realized she was out of snacks. With a sigh, she pushed off the blankets and climbed to her feet, reflexively smoothing down her short skirt. Many people these days wore plain clothes that took little skill to make, having little time or money to do otherwise. Brown and black were common colors, and styles were... well, basic didn't really cover it. Avariel, though, had been fascinated by clothing from a young age, and her father's library was littered with books about pre-cataclysm fashions. Her mother had taught her to sew when she was still very young, and Avariel had been making her own clothes since shortly after. It was the one thing she was really good at. The fabric spoke to her, the needle sang. She never wore anything she had not created, and she never created boring clothing. Her current fascination was tiny skirts that came to mid-thigh, and she had found a way to make them in layers so that they stuck out around her legs rather than hanging normally. Together with her top, a corseted shirt with flowing sleeves, she though she looked quite pretty. And, more importantly, she definitely did not look boring.

Hair she could not color like she saw in many of the old books, but she could and did style it herself, with the help of a servant of two. Right now the red mass of curls was tamed into dozens of braids that had been secured into two tails on either side of her head and hung down her back. Her father mocked her obsession with such shallow things, but she refused to give up her few real pleasures to blend in.

Blending in seemed perfectly awful.

She made her way through the dim cellar to the latter, but paused at the bottom as she heard what sounded like a crash from the dining hall. She cocked her head curiously. Any moment now, Cook would certainly start thrashing whomever had been clumsy enough to drop something on the night of a formal dinner. But there was no outraged yell, no amused titters from the other servants, just a long silence and then a scream.

Avariel stumbled back from the ladder, terrified. That had not been a shocked scream or even a startled one. That was the scream of someone being gravely injured. It could not be mistaken for anything else, even to her. She recognized the sound from the darker memories of her childhood.

In the next moment, chaos erupted above. People began to shriek and cry out. Feet began to pound in what the priness could only assume was running, and, over it all, she heard gruff orders shouted above the din. Somewhere above her there was a force of people who were much more organized than the panicking servants, and it sounded like they were mowing through the scores of people gathered for the feast ruthlessly.

She backed away, tying not to let her heavy boots clomp like they normally did when she walked, and tried to think of a place she could hide. The cellars were not exactly secure or hidden...

In the pantry above her there was a clatter and the beginnings of a scream and suddenly a petite form was flying down the stairs, quite literally. Avariel jumped back, hands flying to cover her mouth so she didn't scream as well, and the body hit the ground in front of her with a thump and a crack that just did not sound good at all. It didn't move. Only after a panicked moment was she able to focus enough to figure out that the small body was that of one of the house servants. she racked her mind for the girl's name as she bent down over her.

She was little more than a child, maybe fourteen summers at the most. Her hair was pulled back into a neat tail of ringlets under her cap, which was hopelessly askew after her tumble, and framed a sweet, heart-shaped face. "Bridgette," Avariel whispered, finally recalling her name. She shook the girl's shoulder gently, trying to rouse her. It worked.

Bridgette's eyes opened wide and she drew in breath for a wail. Avariel clamped her hand down on the gir's open mouth, whispering desparately. "No, no, you can't scream. They'll hear us. It's ok. It's me, Avariel. Calm down. I'm sorry if I hurt you. Just calm down." She continued to murmur hurried reassurances, glancing up the narrow stairs every few seconds, until Bridgette nodded and pushed her hand away, wincing.

"I'm fine, miss," the girl said through clenched teeth. "Sorry about that. I think my arm is broken though. I'd very much appreciate you not grabbing it again." Even in pain and fighting tears, the girl was the picture of good manners. Avariel fought the laughter that bubbled up in her. No time for that now.

"What's happening?" she asked, helping the girl to her feet.

Bridgette's whisper was unsteady. "An army, Miss. I don't recognize the colors of the house, but it looks like they mean to Annul us. They're killing everyone. I was trying to get away and hide in the pantry, but I forgot the cellar door was propped open for you, and I fell."

Avariel shivered. Annulment? Surely that wasn't it... She shook her head roughly. No time for this. There had to be a way to et out of here. They would be coming for Bridgette if anyone saw her fall. The princess motioned for the girl to follow and led her back to her little cubby hole. the thigh-high doorway was almost closed, and fairly well hidden behind a box of root vegetables. Avariel knelt down and peered through the opening. It was narrow, but she was confident she could get through with a little wiggling.

Bridgette started to ask something, but her mouth snapped closed as they heard a shout from back near the stairs. "Anyone see where the little blonde bitch ran?"

The princess and sevant traded one wide-eyed look before Avariel dove through the little door, sacrificing a few pieces of skin for speed, and scrambled out of the way for Bridgette to do the same. Once in, they pulled the door shut behind them quietly and turned to face the new room. It was pitch black witht the door shut. Bridgette scooted closer along the wall, trembling slightly. Avariel supposed it must be terrifying to be in the dark if you believed there were ghosts roaming the tunnels. Personally, she would risk ghosts before she'd go back into the cellar. Ghosts had a chance of not being real. Besides, it didn't have to be dark. She touched the medallion she wore around her neck and traced the symbol of the goddess etched on it, her voice soundless as she whispered, "In the dark be my guide, fill me with your sight." The first words of the Night's Call made the room flare into sight around her. There was no color or light, but the outline of things was clearly visible.she touched Bridgette's hand to the disc and repeated the words, and the servant's startled breath let her know the magic was working for her too.

The medallion reminded her of the temple she had recieved it from. Immediately, as if she was remembering a plan she had already thought of, she knew exactly what she had to do. Temples were the only place that granted Sanctuary, regardless of who pursued... and Giadriana's Temple was close. She nodded determinedly and looked around, tryign to figure out how to make this work. The ceiling in here was lower, forcing Avariel to duck slightly, and the walls were lined with huge crates. Some were empty, but many seemed to be full of something pungent. Even after being shut for who knows how long, the room carried the scent of some strong spice or herb.

"Miss," Bridgette whispered, "we have to get away. They had Shifters with them. They'll follow us."

"Oh Lady," Avariel whispered, stomach clenching. Shifters were not uncommon in mercenary bands, from what she had observed in her father's hall. They were strong, deadly, and made damn fine scouts. A Shifter could track a scent for days.

Scent...

Oh. Goddess, yes.

"Bridgette, help me," the princess ordered, making her way over to the crates. She reached inside and grabbed a sack and a smaller box, pulling them open to peer inside. The strong smells hit her at once. "Cinnamon and Basil," she reported, pleased. "What did you find?"

Bridgette sneezed harshly and closed the lid of her box quickly. "Cayenne," she said between sneezes. "And there was sage in the other sack. What in the-"

"No time," Avariel hissed. "We have to hurry. Here." She shoved her sacks into the girl's hands and took the cayenne. "Spread the herbs on the floor. Make sure to crunch them up. We want the smell to be as strong as possible. Hurry!" She left Bridgette to do so and hurried to the door that opened into the long tunnel she had never explored before. She regretted the decision bitterly now. Ghosts were nothing compared to Shifters. The door resisted her tugs, but she finally managed to pry it open enough for her frame to get through, if barely. To her relief, there was a slight whiff of fresh air int he tunnel. Good. It was probably a decent choice for an escape route.

She dipped her fingers into the pepper box cradled to her chest and liberally dusted it over the door, the frame, and the floor around it, then ran back to the smaller door to do the same. Bridgette was quickly crushing and spreading herbs. When Avariel had all but emptied the box, she examined the crates carefully. By the time Bridgette was done, the princess had partially emptied one of the largest crates of its contents and was motioning her to climb in. The younger girl hesitated, but a raised voice from the cellar made her jump in quickly. Avariel followed, pulling sacks over them until they were covered completely. Then, aquirming carefully, she made a small hole to peer through, and waited, trying to breathe silently.

They were just in time. Seconds after the girls were settled in their nest of herbs, The sounds in the cellar became much clearer. Voices were right outside the small door, probably standing by the princess's cubby. Avariel strained to listen.

"-just one anymore," a gruff male muttered in a voice that was halfway to a growl. "There's two scents here, both of 'em bitches, and young. Scared too." there was a brief pause. "I like 'em scared," the voice leered.

"Keep your mind on the trail and out of your pants," another man said shortly. "Where'd they go?"

"Scent ends here."

"Must be a door. Help me look." A loud scraping was probably the box in front of the door being moved. A thin, faint bit of light trickled in through the crack between the door and the wall. "Here. A door. Did they go through here?"

Avariel held her breath, Bridgette's hand clamped tightly in her own, and listened closely. There was a shuffle and the stripe of light from the doorway grew slightly, then the sound she had been waiting for: a deep breath.

Immediately, the Shifter began to cough and choke, and he backed away from the door so quickly that he tripped and fell over her blankets. "What the hell?" the other man shouted, confused. "Sergei? What happened?"

Sergei, still choking and rolling around, didn't answer. Avariel relaxed and braved a little sigh of relief. It worked. Shifter's noses were incredibly sensitive. None of them would be able to track anything in this room, even if they got past the Cayenne pepper at the doors. All the scent would hopefully work like a heavy fog and obscure their trail. That left humans to do the work... hopefully. Most mercs didn't have much else in their ranks, but you never knew...

The two girls stayed still while the Shifter stopped thrashing and groaning. "The scent trail ends there," he finally growled, voice hoarse. "The room is full of scent, and there's strong spices that burn the nose. I can't smell anything now. We will be no good to you from this point."

The other man cursed and sighed. "Well, we will manage. Go give report and send backup. I'll take a quick look around."

One set of footsteps faded, and the door to the room grated as the man forced it open wider. Avariel could make out his shape against the pale light of the cellar, but not well enough to see any detail other than his easy crouch as he peered in the room. He rubbed one finger along the wall and sniffed it, jerking his head away quickly as he reflexively sneezed after breathing in the pepper.

After a moment to shake his head, the tall form crouched further and crawled through the small door. It was not graceful. He was a tall man with a thick frame, and the space had barely been wide enough for Avariel's slender frame. He was persistant though, and within minutes he had squeezed himself though and was on one knee on the floor. He touched a hand to his ear and spoke in a low murmur. "Tanalith here. Send smaller framed backup to the cellars. Tight squeeze in here. No Shifters."

There was no noticeable response, but Avariel understood what had happened. Some mages were able to craft magic to carry a person's words to them, and often laid the spells on earrings, necklaces, or other small and easily hidden objects. The fact that this group had such things meant either that they had a mage, which Avariel prayed desparately wasn't true, or that they had managed to trade one for such devices. Any man a mage would make such a deal with would have to be powerful. Mages did not share their power lightly.

Once his message had been delivered, the man stood and began examining the room. He, too, must have had some way of seeing through the darkness since he did not seem to require a light. He noticed the cracked door pretty quickly and moved to examine it closely, peering down the tunnel behind it. Believe it, believe it, believe it, Avariel chanted silently, wishing she could exert her influence more directly. If he realized they were still in here, her sparse plan would come down around her, and she wouldn't stand a chance.

A scrape at the smaller door announced the arrival of two more mercenaries, both of much slighter frame than Tanalith. They stood as soon as they were clear of the entrance, poses and mannerisms identically perfect. "Reporting," one said, voice feminine and professional. "Orders?"

Tanalith looked back at the doorway. "Looks like two females, both young, ran through this tunnel. Find them. If one matches the description you were provided in briefing, bring her back unharmed. The other, kill. Do it fast. Once through the tunnel, if you haven't found them, report back findings and scout. Permission to enlist others in the search is ganted. This is now our primary objective."

The two nodded and trotted down the tunnel. Tanalith looked around one last time - Avariel didn't dare breathe in the silence - before making his way down the tunnel behind them. After a few seconds, when his footsteps had faded away, both girls let out matching sighs of relief. Avariel couldn't force herself to move for another few seconds. Her body seemed sure that there was still some danger.

Ease the pain?
terezi
Dec. 22nd, 2010 @ 11:15 pm Facebook thing

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

(Some of these are actually copied from my livejournal, from a post I made a few weeks ago. So...I cheated.)

-- Recently, we had our first fight in years. For a week I faced the possibility of a life without your constant enduring friendship, and my whole world shook on its foundations. I love you more than I could possibly express in mere words. I love you like a song, with swelling crescendos and notes that vibrate at such deep levels that they are light made darkness. I want this song to never end. I hope that we can continue to grow together even as our opinions continue to differ, for they must, love, in order for each of us to be healthy and happy.

--I am not always sure what you think of me. We have been friends for so long (on and off), and sometimes I think I get you, but other times I am worried I annoy you, or that you secretly don't really like me. It wouldn't be worth mentioning, except that I am *always* worried about it because I see and hear from you so rarely.. For my part, I adore you. Other than the worry, your presence makes me absurdly happy, as it does all those you come in contact with. I only hope I return some of that.

--You are so new to me, but I feel as though I love you far too much to have known you the shortest of my friends. You are a very special person, very dear to my heart, and I find you one of the most wonderful people I have ever known. Every moment spent with you (few and far between though they are these days) is one of pleasure and an almost giddy feeling. You, to be plain, make me *happy*. I only wish that I knew more of the darkness that I sense lurks in your past and, like a Mind Healer, could take some of it away. I feel that you are too bright, too beautiful, to let that kind of pain stain you. And yet... I find pain to be a powerful and beautiful thing, and yours, even in glimpses, only makes your radiance that much brighter. ...Forgive me. I have gone on too long and far. This is why these are written here, anonymously, rather than ever spoken aloud.

--First, let me say that I miss you, my tiny lovely friend. You were the highlight of an already bright class, and were certainly the best lunch date i ever had all those days at the picnic tables. You understand fanfiction, yaoi, japanese, eccentricity, Harry Potter, writing, and the importance of talking rabbits. You get parts of me that no one else does. I love you very much, and all your quirks and habits only enforce that feeling. You are one of my favorite people, and one that I honestly want to spend days with just catching up. Our lives are busy, but know that I will always be here for me. God forbid you need them, but my shoulder and arms are waiting just in case.


--I am struck, at times, by a staggering surge of melancholy nostalgia, and it hurts, because I am well aware that you are not at all affected by such feelings. The rest of the time, when I think of you, it is with pain and, yes, sometimes there is anger there. What once was haunts me with doubts and worries. And yet, there is a brightness in the dark depression, for, the majority of the time, I do not think of you at all. I only wish for that portion to grow. I am ready to be rid of unrequited emotions, and ready for you to stop pretending things you do not, will not, have never felt. it hurts more that you are not honest with me. We could be shallow friends, perhaps, but not with all this unspoken pain.

--I think I am mostly in love with you sometimes, and then suddenly I am overcome by the urge to strangle you. I am pretty sure the two extremes are perfectly indicative of our relationship, as strange as parts of it still are. Nevertheless, you are one of my most beloved friends, and I cherish you. I certainly wish you cherished me a bit more... but I ask nothing more of you than you are already willing to give. I want you to be happy. I only wish I could show you the way to happiness... but your path is certainly not for me to illuminate when you are so determined to go it in the dark.
 

--You... our past is strage and broken. I vary between love and hate... no, too strong. I vary between affection and irritation. Ah. There we go. You and I have a relationship based on gain, and we are both aware of it. You do nice things for me because you expect me to return the favor, which I often do. I put up with your assery because I like gifts. It's a materialistic and shallow relationship at its surface, but there is a kind of love there. I number you among my friends, which is a very select group. That says something. You can often make me smile. That's a perk. But, dearheart, I only wish you wouldn't try so hard. You don't have to be the loudest, the funniest, or the birghtest. Just be you. My affection for you stems from the moments where you just... are.

--I have known you since you were much younger, and have watched you grow into who you are now... and you fill me with pride. Truly, I love you like family, even though our blood is not our bond. You also make me happy. You are deeper than I could have hoped you would be, and you are intelligent, kind, caring, funny, dorky, and honest, which are all facets of you that I only wish I could show you a bit clearer. I often find myself wishing you could see yourself through my eyes so that the ridiculously low opinion you have of yourself could be banished forever. You are my favorite sister.

--I miss you, and, yet, I am so used to the feeling that it is a part of my affection by this time. You have changed far more than I had thought you might, and, though I feel bitchy saying it, not all of the changed are ones I can follow or admire much. But you are still my friend, love, still my Chosen, and that will never change. The core of you is the same one I grew to love so long ago. Growing apart in opinion, as another friend showed me recently, does not have to mean growing apart in affection. Come home safely.

--Have we really only known one another for a handful of years? Surely my reckoning is off. The affection I have for you is too strong for that. Surely it has been a decade or more. You made a dark place much brighter, chased dull shadows with the bright bells of laughter. You are best memories I have of the better part of three years. Ours was a friendship of games, giggles, music, and, rarely, pain. I know a dark part of you, a wounded slice of your sould, I hold it precious in my heart. It makes you something more than just a friend. You are a part of my family even if time has rendered us a necessarily more distant part. And, though it may sound condescending, I am proud of you.


Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

-My favorite game is Dragon Age: Origins. Yes, that one was the first on the list.

-I used to have to shower standing on a washcloth due to fear of the shower bottom. I thought this was normal. I did it until college.

-I love things passionately and completely, but my love moves often and in cycles. I fangirl, in other words. I consider this normal as well.

-I am tempted every day to just run away and leave everything behind so I can stop worrying. I am only held back by one or two friends that I feel would take it amiss.

-I love to write stories, but absolutely hate people reading them. There are about three people who are exception to this rule.

-If I could have any talent, it would be art. I want to be able to draw with a longing that has followed me since I was six.

-If I could, I would hibernate through the winter. It is my favorite time of year for weather, but I am constantly depressed.

-I am materialistic and okay with that. Getting new things makes me happy. If those things are books or vidja games, I am usually ecstatic.

-I want to be Ravenclaw, but there's a good chance I'd be a Hufflepuff. This thought keeps me up at night.


Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart. (I'ma take this as either romantic or platonic. ^^;)

-Tell me you love me. I like to hear it without having to say it first.

-Spend time with me. Nothing makes me happier than time with friends.

-As noted above, I am materialistic. you could always buy me a book or something. But beware: your choice of book is going to say a lot. choose carefully. :p

-Touch. I don't touch a lot. I don't know why. It just doesn't happen. So when someone does touch me, it's something I take note of, and usually enjoy. Unless I don't know you... then it's unsettling at best.

-Interests. Share them with me. Do you like video games? Books? Fantasy? RPGs? I do. Let's talk about it. I could do this for hours.

-Srstalk: This one really doesn't work with a lot of people. I like to think about new things. Let's discuss religion, spirituality, philosophy, and almost anything else. Just know that I am bad at articulating thoughts aloud without sufficient preparation. I'm better at writing. Also, be aware that if I do not find your topic interesting, I reserve the right to fall asleep. ^_^

-Talent. It doesn't even matter what kind. Are you god at something? That's hot. Whether it's dancing, singing, drawing, or weaving stories, I find talent to be an amazingly attractive thing to have.

-Humor. Life can be Hell. Can you laugh your way out? Because if you can, and if you can keep up with my group's humor, I am bound to love you.

 


Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

-Where the hell is my Ravenclaw gear (seriously at least five times a day...).

-I need to *insert responsibility here*.

-Money. I wish I had more so I wouldn't have to worry about it so much.

-I could be playing WoW/Dragon Age right now.

-I miss *insert friend here*.

- If Evea is about balance of the light and dark does that mean she's twice as powerful because for every noon and midnight there is both a dawn and twilight.../ If Avariel is Evea's Chosen and Evea is over control and Gigi is over free will, does that mean that Avariel will be completely.... / *blahblahblahstorymusingsblahblah*

-Oh God where's my phon- oh. There it is. *relief*


Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

-Kissed him.

-Fallen in love.

-Given that speech.

-Told her.

-Lied about all the trouble I'm in.

-Ignored his calls.


Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

-Jenny, Jonvon, Sarah, Connor, Kristin

(Also so so many more. A separate list: Nelle, Jeb, Adi, Josh, Jessichan... the list gets stupidly long if I go on.)
 

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

-Smoking

-Narrow minds

-Lack of humor

-Ego


Day Eight: Three turn ons.
 

-Nerdiness

-Humor

-Glasses

 

Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.


New moon on snow - I feel like I am at a low point, my nadir, a dark place, much like the season. I am praying that I come back out of it soon. I don't know how much I can take. I feel cold, frozen. I can't cry. I just lie wait for Spring.

Mask - I wear so many. Sometimes it gets hard to keep up with them, hard to remember who can't know I'm sad, who I only show the smile, who I can talk to about what things... I get tired of constantly thinking of which part of my story this person knows about, which facet they prefer to see, what secrets they are privy to. It's exhausting.

 

Day Ten: One confession.
 

I'm pretty sure I really need to be back in therapy before I do something stupid, but I don't even care enough anymore to try.


Ease the pain?
terezi
Oct. 28th, 2010 @ 05:48 am Oh look, an entry that isn't private
A series of small thoughts, each to a different person.

--I am struck, at times, by a staggering surge of melancholy nostalgia, and it hurts, because I am well aware that you are not at all affected by such feelings. The rest of the time, when I think of you, it is with irritation and pain. And yet, there is a brightness in the dark depression, for, the majority of the time, I do not think of you at all. I only wish for that portion to grow. I am ready to be rid of unrequited emotions.

--I think I am mostly in love with you sometimes, and then suddenly I am overcome by the urge to strangle you. I am pretty sure the two extremes are perfectly indicative of our relationship, as secretive as parts of it still are. Nevertheless, you are one of my most beloved friends, and I cherish you. I certainly wish you cherished me a bit more... but I ask nothing more of you than you are already willing to give.

--I am so glad our argument was put behind us. I am not sure if you are still upset, or if you are just trying to pretend it didn't happen but, selfishly, I am happy either way. For a week I faced the possibility of a life without your constant enduring friendship, and my whole world shook on its foundations. I love you more than I could express. I only hope that we can continue to grow together even as our opinions continue to differ, for they must, love, in order for each of us to be healthy and happy.

--I am not always sure what you think of me. We have been friends for so long (on and off), and sometimes I think I get you, but other times I am worried I annoy you, or that you secretly don't really like me. It wouldn't be worth mentioning, except that I am *always* worried about it. For my part, I adore you. Otehr than the worry, your presence makes me absurdly happy, as it does all those you come in contact with. I only hope I return some of that.

--You are so new to me, but I feel as though I love you far too much to have known you the shortest of my friends. You are a very special person, very dear to my heart, and I find you one of the most wonderful people I have ever known. Every moment spent with you (few and far between though they are these days) is one of pleasure and an almost giddy feeling. You, to be plain, make me *happy*. I only wish that I knew more of the darkness that I sense lurks in your past and, like a Mind Healer, could take some of it away. I feel that you are too bright, too beautiful, to let that kind of pain stain you. And yet... I find pain to be a powerful and beautiful thing, and yours, even in glimpses, only makes your radiance that much brighter. ...Forgive me. I have gone on too long and far. This is why these are written here, anonymously, rather than ever spoken aloud.

--You... our past is strage and broken. I vary between love and hate... no, too strong. I vary between affection and irritation. Ah. There we go. You and I have a relationship based on gain, and we are both aware of it. You do nice things for me because you expect me to return the favor, which I often do. I put up with your assery because I like gifts. It's a materialistic and shallow relationship at its surface, but there is a kind of love there. I number you among my friends, which is a very select group. That says something. You can often make me smile. That's a perk. But, dearheart, I only wish you wouldn't try so hard. You don't have to be the loudest, the funniest, or the birghtest. Just be you. My affection for you stems from the moments where you just... are.

--I have known you since you were much younger, and have watched you grow into who you are now... and you fill me with pride. Truly, I love you like family, even though our blood is not our bond. You also make me happy. You are deeper than I could have hoped you would be, and you are intelligent, kind, caring, funny, dorky, and honest, which are all facets of you that I only wish I could show you a bit clearer. I often find myself wishing you could see yourself through my eyes so that the ridiculously low opinion you have of yourself could be banished forever. You are my favorite sister.

--I miss you, and, yet, I am so used to the feeling that it is a part of my affection by this time. You have changed far more than I had thought you might, and, though I feel bitchy saying it, not all of the changed are ones I can follow or admire much. But you are still my friend, love, still my Chosen, and that will never change. The core of you is the same one I grew to love so long ago. Growing apart in opinion, as another friend showed me recently, does not have to mean growing apart in affection. Come home safely.
Ease the pain?
terezi
Sep. 20th, 2010 @ 05:11 am (no subject)
http://www.xoticpc.com/asus-g53jwa1-pre-order-p-2857.html


It is everything I want. Everything.

I need $1500.

...

Wannarobabank? >.>
Ease the pain?
terezi
Sep. 16th, 2010 @ 09:28 pm (no subject)
I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins that almost freezes up the heat of life.

Quote unrelated to anything except my love for it.  
Ease the pain?
terezi
Sep. 16th, 2010 @ 06:13 pm (no subject)
Fell asleep while reading on my phone last night. I was holding it on a pillow on my chest. When I fell asleep, it slipped and smacked me back in the face.

Welcome to my week.






...Hi.
Ease the pain?
terezi
Sep. 10th, 2010 @ 04:04 pm Meanwhile, IRL
My reflection is...: curiousJust kinda here
Sorrow sounds like...: Decode
You know, without school, it's hard to blog. I mean, I really have a kind of repetitive life right now. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the change, but there's not much to talk about. I have no papers to write, no tests to study for, no new subject to study.

Okay, so it's a little depressing... but I needed to the break. It doesn't do any good to be in school if you're so burned out you dont even go to class or do the work. I still don't even know what my grades were at the end of last semester. I never looked. I was afraid to. Still am.

That being said, I am enjoying my new nerd fun. My life is made up of working at a job I really like, with people I really like, and playing games any time I'm not at work. It's nice. I wouldn't mind it if my life stayed this calm for a while. I play MTG, I play FF, I dream of playing WoW again soon, and I sometimes read. These are good things.

Speaking of reading, I'm about halfway through the Sandman series right now, and I am in LOVE. Gaiman's brain is a fascinating place. This much context to everything... it has to be. I love the way he weaves mythosn together to create a world where every story was true somewhere. It's fascinating to see the story of Orpheus, for instance, with these new shades of meaning and relationship. I cannot wait to get the next one. BAM, here I come.

Moneywise, life is... complicated. I need to call and get my debt squared so I can get my new computer. maybe ordering FFXIV was not such a good idea... =/ Oh well. It will work out. I need to call tham and see how I can make it work. Cause it has to. HAS to.

I had a fight with Jvo last night that made me cry. It's weird... when someone makes me that upset, I simultaneously want them to know I cried, so they will know how badly they hurt me, and want them to never, EVER find out I cried, so they will never know how easy it is for them to hurt me. I'm still trying to find a comfortable place between being open and being vulnerable.

That's all for now. I wanna go write more of the Gigi story.
Ease the pain?
hamlet
Sep. 2nd, 2010 @ 06:49 pm Real Life Level Up
My reflection is...: happyhappy
Tags: ,
I just hit a new level in nerd. I love it when that happens.

Jeb and Sarah apparently got into MTG recently, and now I, of course, have followed. I think the most shocking thing was how much I realy enjoyed it. It's a lot mroe complicated than I ever thought but, at the same time, it's much simpler. I adore it. It's a group game, but a competitive one, and our group thrives on that. (We also gloat, pout, yell, and brag. This is our thing.)

So now I have two decks: a red/blue and a blue/white. I love them both. ^^ The red is my Karira deck (tons of angry fire with a hint of tricksy hobitses), and the blue is my Alythar deck (lots of clever spells, and come cleric stuff tossed in for shiggles). I want to make a blue/black someday for Lilandra, and possibly others as well. Green/something for Allana? Who knows...

I also bailed on my family for Labor Day. I have Hunter that day. There's no effin way I'm skipping a game of Hunter for a cookout. My mother is furious, but my mother is always furious about something. After 23 years of her being angry pretty much 24/7, I'm pretty immune to it now. Thank you, therapy.

This is my nerdy, nerdy life.
Ease the pain?
terezi
Aug. 29th, 2010 @ 12:16 pm yay!
My reflection is...: cheerfulcheerful
I see an Adi on my F-list!!
Ease the pain?
terezi
Aug. 29th, 2010 @ 08:49 am D=
Current Location: work >.>
My reflection is...: bouncyfrazzled
Tags: , ,
Oh, I hate mornings where I oversleep. That is one of the worst feelings of everyday life. I wake up fine, feeling peaceful, then there's confusion, then I look at the clock and the adrenaline floods, snapping me instantly awake. I rush to get ready, possibly skipping important parts of the normal process to cut the minutes I'll be late.

And the adrenaline takes its toll on my tummy, which is already not fond of mornings, and must be treated with care. So I grab fruit out of the fridge to bring to work, and a caprisun to drink.

Only the caprisun is just sugar water, and the fruit, eaten hastily, rebels. Cue the sickness and the voiding of the tummy. Now I'm back where I would have been before I ate, but with a sore abdomen and a headache.

/bitchmoanwhine

Anywhoozles. I overslept this morning. Can you tell?

I've been writing a decent amount, lately, but most of it is taking place at my writing journal. I would invite people to come see, but the stuff I post there is rough. Rough in a "never-looked-at-twice, typed-directly-into-the-journal, what's-a-first-draft kind of way. So yes. But it is writing.

My life just isn't interesting enough for daily posts about it that are over 140 words. v.v;
Ease the pain?
bob cookies
Aug. 22nd, 2010 @ 01:30 pm Update
My reflection is...: tiredtired
Sorrow sounds like...: pandora
I know I said I'd post almost every day. i haven't. I have posted a lot more than anyone has seen, because most of it has been f-locked or private. That being said, updates:

- Work -
I love my job, which is good, because I am there a lot. Like... a lot. 40 hours/week kind of a lot. Jon Vuaghan (one of my friends and coworkers) is off for most of the month of August, and I'm covering for him. This is good for the monies, which I desperately need, but bad for the social life. Of course, I have still been seeing friends, but only the ones that stay awake until early morning. But it is a good job, with some wonderful people. I don't work with anyone I don't like, and my boss is great. Also, I get to update the LJ from work, which is much easier than on my phone.

-Play- Electronic -
I am currently working my way through FF Dissidia. It's a really fun game, and highly addictive. While it does have a plot (though not a crazy deep one, so far...), it seems to be mostly fanservice. I love fanservice.

I need to finish FFXIII. I got distracted when Dragon Age Origins: Awakening came out. It sucks, because I was just getting to the really good part, where I ahd all party members and a lot of choices as to character build. and that took work. I feel like the first ten chapters were just backstory. Good backstory, but still. I had no choices, and no say in where we went or even who I was controlling. It was not something I appreciated. I'm not hating on the game, I just prefer more freedom to screw up.

Also need to finish Assassin's Creed. i love pretty stabby. But that is last priority.

I love Dragon Age. Love. Love. I have played through that game twice, and have seven other characters as well  that are anywhere from Ostagar to the final battle. I also liked the expansion, but it was nowhere near as good as the original. I have played through every opening. I have romanced every character. I have killed so many Darkspawn that I find them childish and amusing in their bloodlust.
God, that's a wonderful game.

I also play Little Big Planet every now and then. It's cute.

Soon I will play FFXIV, or there will be blood. I have made a tiny Karira. She is amazing in every way. 

I think that's most of my gaming.

-Play - Tabletop

I'm involved in two RPGs right now (I was DMing one as well, but the players kinds just... stopped playing. So no more of that...) that take up a lot of my thought processes.

The first is Hunter: the Reckoning. I cannot stress enough how amazing this game is. I have written about it before, so I'll be brief. The man who runs the game is a talented storyteller who really knows how to roll with the punches his players toss out. He never gets stressed by our decisions, never tells us we "can't" do something for some arbitrary reason. His characters are real, and likeable. He is fair and neutral in his judgements. He does not flinch at hurting us. He is the best damn GM I've ever seen.

The other RPG is a 3.5 D&D game run by another friend. It might be his first time DMing, but he's talented, and he just wants to have fun with it. Our games are pretty light-hearted and adventurous, though we do have our serious moments. It's DnD. It's a very different game than Hunter. I love them both. So much.



~~Tomes~~

I am going through a strange phase with my reading. I seem to be reluctant to actually pick up a book, but I have a lot of books that I really want to read. Most of them are classics that I have found on my phone. I read a good amount of Sherlock Holmes, and have just started Peter Pan. I have a ton of books to work through. I want to read the things I never got to read. I want to take time to enjoy the classics.

Other than that, I just worked my way through all the stories at the Bijou, and have made my way through the entire archives of LFG and OotS int he last few weeks.

This is what I'm reading.


~~Tubes~~

The internet is my love and my light. With my new phone, I can access almost all of it at any given time. I am always there.

Pandora is constantly on.
Twitter and Facebook are always connected.
I am instantly alerted any time I get an email.
The internet usually has two or three windows open, at least.

*squishieinternethugs*

I do not watch much TV. Grey's Anatomy is on exception. That and House. And Law and Order SVU.

But nothing else.


~~~~~

I'm at work, and exhausted, so there ends my short update.

Hopefully my shift will be over soon too, and I can sleep. ^^;
Ease the pain?
hamlet
Aug. 14th, 2010 @ 08:39 pm Story time!
Sorrow sounds like...: Pandora
Remeber my Gigi story? No? Well, that's okay. Cause this is a revamped, post-apacolyptic kinda version.

Here, the world is shattered by a cataclysm when Evea (one of the three main goddesses) attempts to take over. The War of the Gods kills over 60% of the people in the world, and those that are left are shocked to find that among them there are as many fae, shifters, mages, and otherworldly creatures as there are humans.

This story is set some four hundred years later. Avariel is the daughter of a local rule who calls himself the Baron. Her people are attacked and slaughtered. She manages to escape mostly by being where she was not mean to be. She runs to the temple of Giadriana for Sanctuary, where Alythar, a priest, takes her in.

The story continues

with Avariel inside the temple...Collapse )
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terezi
Aug. 11th, 2010 @ 04:28 am thoughts from 4 a.m.
My reflection is...: melancholymelancholy
Tags:
Why do people drink? Is it purely social? Surely not. After all, there is nothing you can do drunk that cannot be done sober, and much that you will that shouldn't. All in all, it's really a silly custom.

Yet we do.

Maybe it's more about the release of inhibitions, but i cannot see that the ease of your normal social boundaries is necessarily a good thing. They are there for a reason and, unless you are crippled by them, should probably remain. There is a reason you don't normally dance naked or make out with friends. It leads to trouble.

And those inhibitions? They come back after the alcohol is gone. So do your doubts, fears, and worries. And sometimes they bring company.


Does he think you are pretty if he sleeps with you? Does it matter less if you're drunk? Does his hand under your shirt mean he likes you, your breasts, both, or neither? Is he using you as a stand-in for the girl he can't have? Are you a convenience? Are you gonna talk about this? If not, is it because he's ashamed?

Do they laugh because you're funny or because you're jokes are? Are they ignoring you or just caught up in the moment? Do you get picked last out of coincidence or because you're wanted least?

Pretty girls are fun drunks; ugly ones pathetic.

Your life will be the same in the morning. The rules still apply.
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terezi
Aug. 9th, 2010 @ 04:23 pm A return
My reflection is...: pensivepensive
Tags: ,
It's been quite some time since I left you, livejournal. Many things have changed, though much remains the same. One thing, though, has come.to my attention lately: I do not write anymore.

This is not just a matter of my not having time. I have time. I normally choose to spend it on things like video games and books. Both are good in their own way, but neither one gives me the same emotional outlet as writing. It doesn't even have to be stories. I feel that just writing about my day, my concerns, will help, even if no one is reading it. After all, a journal is really for the writer, not the reader. I am tired of only writing stats updates. I need something longer, deeper.

So here I am. Back, I hope.

We'll see how it goes.
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tp quote - rules
Feb. 22nd, 2009 @ 10:50 pm A side note to life
It seems I am officially reading ficcage again. I stopped for a while for a few reasons: I was too busy, I was concentrating on WoW and other books, and, mostly, I don't like to read new authors unless they are suggested, and I was running out of fics.

Thank goodness, being away from fics completely for a few months (like a year?) except for the very occasional splurge into a fave author's new stuff seems to have recharged my love for it, and I'm rereading some of the great stuff. I have workedmy way through all of Merula's work, as well as Sunhawk's (The Ion Arc is, btw, freakin huge in case you were wondering). I am now working through Maldoror's "The Arrangement." I think she might be the only (definitely one of the few) writers that can make me believe in soldiers. She is also one of the best Wufei POV writers out there. The only Wufei I like more than hers prolly belongs to Sunhawk, and that is still a tie between Road Trip and Ion.

I don't know why I got the urge to update about this. It's just somehting I've been all about lately, and it's reminding me of LJ times, since I stay here for updates from my favorite authors.

On a side note, someday Merula will kill me dead with her cliffhangers. I need to find the icon I made specifically for her fics so long ago.
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terezi
Jun. 27th, 2008 @ 03:00 pm I'm bored
) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.




 
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terezi
Jun. 6th, 2008 @ 02:14 am 39 Weeks Later...
/Peeks back in

http://community.livejournal.com/lj_policy/1935.html

* Our policy on Non-Photographic Images of Minors is being removed. What this means is that we will no longer be requiring the removal of this content, or suspending people who have posted it. We feel that with the introduction of the adult content flagging system, we do not need to take any further action on this type of material.

Hmm... Oh LJ, you're just toying with my emotions. Can it be as good as it seems?



Also. Hi. I'm still over on IJ for those who still remember me. ^_^ Tweak is Da Man.
http://silverkiiri.insanejournal.com/
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tp quote - rules
Aug. 31st, 2007 @ 09:25 am (no subject)
My reflection is...: crushedcrushed
... My pictures are gone.

Fine LJ. Be that way. See if I ever freaking use you again. /bitter
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bob cookies
Aug. 27th, 2007 @ 03:34 pm (no subject)
Ok. So. School is back on. I spent a fun day today remembering how much I had forgotten. My Japanese. It um. It sucks. -_-;

Might have more regular intarwebs now thanks to the comp labs on campus. Maybe.

Also, about the LJ thing I mentioned a few posts back:

I will no longer be paying LJ any money cause they make me so mad I want to kick puppies. So. I will be running out of paid time in a day or two. And no more pics at that time. This means I will, very likely, be present very little. I hate the ads you get if you don't pay them money. I hate what LJ has become. So I'm moving over to InsaneJournal. I'm moved, actually. I'll check the f-list here mostly, but anyone who is already one my IJ f-list is gonna be getting comments from me over there.

This means I'm cutting the friends list down; pruning it if you will. If you are cut from it, do not take it personally. I'm just cutting out some stuff. Not a big deal. I don't hate you. (I doubt annyone would care, but just in case...)

Back to your regularly scheduled program.
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bob cookies
Aug. 6th, 2007 @ 01:26 pm (no subject)
My reflection is...: contemplativecontemplative
Tomorrow is the five year anniversary of this journal's creation.

Hmm. I've been here a long time.
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hamlet
Aug. 5th, 2007 @ 03:48 pm (no subject)
... I am not leaving LJ, despite all the recent wank. I do, however, have a GJ under the same name, just in case. But, just so everyone knows, my paid account will not be renewed when it expires in one month, nor will my pics. I might start using GJ then and just linking my entries here. I'll still be checking my F-list too. /sigh How troublesome.

LJ/6A, you make me sad.
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tp quote - rules
Jul. 25th, 2007 @ 11:53 pm Deathly Hallows
I finished it. It's over. I need to talk to someone about this. Neetha, I will be calling you soon. Probably tomorrow after work.

Oh, God. In this moment, right now, let me say that I loved it.

I might post more later, but this entry is spoiler-free.
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terezi
Jun. 22nd, 2007 @ 01:43 pm The perils of Amazon
I um. I just spent way too much money.

See. I love Terry Pratchett. And we... don't have enough of his stuff in the US. So. I went to the UK (well, amazon.co.uk anyway) to find the Hogfather DVD. And I found a few more things. And I bought them. And I... realize now that I really should have paid better attention to the prices. And maybe... thought about it a bit more? I mean, I don't regret it, but.

So. 40 dollars? Not at all the same as 40 pounds. Which I knew. I mean, I'm not an idiot.

But. Maybe I should have thought about it before I spent that much.

Also? International shipping is a bitch. Why can't the US just carry the things I want? Seriously? We are driven by rampant consumerism, but we don't have the Hogfather DVD? This country's standards are apparently dropping. >.>
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tp quote - rules
Jun. 14th, 2007 @ 11:59 pm FFVII crack
Tags: , , ,
I...

There are NO words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrNqP-DoeS0

This is the crackiest, best thing ever. This group is just completely awesome.

FVII cosplay... sorta. Just watch it, ok? It's silly and fun. And Yuffie's line... "touche." was just PERFECT. roflpuma.
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ffvii yuffie
Jun. 14th, 2007 @ 12:55 pm (no subject)
Tags:
I went out to get the mail today and one of my many neighbors walked by. I was still mostly asleep, and it took a few minutes for me to remember that his drunken shuffling might now be resulting from a very different intoxication indeed. I froze, watching with caution as he wandered aimlessly down the street, and then with alarm when another of the hippies came around the corner and began to talk to him.

Apparently hippies don't have the net or news. He should have been more careful.

So now there are hippy parts on the road, and I know that my neighbors are infected. It's tricky cause, like I said, they always look pretty wasted. How will I know which ones are... the zed word? Well, I know now that it's not over. It looks calm, but I haven't really gone anywhere yet.

I have to be at work at 2. I hope the roads are cleared. At least it won't make a difference there. Customers are always kind of zed-like.
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terezi
Jun. 14th, 2007 @ 12:35 am Zombieswtf?!
Tags:
Okay, look. I'm gonna be honest here. I've been at work all day, and then watching movies and reading all evening. It's now past midnight and I JUST NOW REALIZED that all those screams coming from outside weren't just the damn hippies. Next time the zombies rise up and do their best to destroy the world, do you think someone could maybe, I dunno, tell me? I mean, COME ON! I don't have TV, I don't have access to the outside world... I'm a sitting duck.

On the bright side, if you're sitting down and not moving in a dark room, the zombies appear to pass right over you. I think my upstairs neighbor was not so lucky. Her heels just made too much damn noise on these hardwood floors. May she rest in peace... or peices. Whatever.

I need a gun. I think it's pretty much calming down out there (thank GOD for gamers who knew what the hell to do when the first signs of the oncoming apocolypse starting limping and shuffling around). I hope it's over when I have to go to work tomorrow.

How are the roads near here? Anybody?


PS. Is everyone still out there? You guys ok?

PPS. http://myelvesaredifferent.blogspot.com/2007/05/blog-like-its-end-of-world-bliteotw.html
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terezi
Jun. 13th, 2007 @ 10:15 pm Books, movies, and the raping thereof
So I'm reading the Mists of Avalon. I remember, back when the movie came out, watching it with Chad (over the phone... what nerds...) and loving it. And then, later, watching it with Jenny and being able to giggle at parts of the over-dramatized acting (Mordred...), but still liking it.

Only... I'm reading the book, right? And it, like every other one I've read by Bradley, is wonderful. I'm entrapped. I love her Avalon. I loved it in other books by her as well. I love her women, her characters in general. They might be taken (loosely, so loosely) from legend, but they are, in truth, original. Only the barest hints of the legend are really needed. I know the story of Arthur decently well, but it's nothing like these.

But everyone knows that.

What I've just discovered, upon trying to watch the movie again (Morgause is totally played by one of the ladies on Desperate Housewives... how perfect is that?) is that I can't stand it. >.>

I mean, it's an okay movie. In exactly the same way Queen of the Damned was an okay movie. If you've never read the book, have only a vague notion of the names of the a couple of characters, and indeed, barely know they're vampires, you probably weren't disappointed. In the same way, if you know that there was a girl named Morgaine and she... something about an special island... and wasn't there some sort of king involved? Yeah, it was probably ok.

But. I'm watching the movie. I'm just now to Morgain becoming a priestess (300 pages = twenty minutes...) and already they've got nothing right. I just... I'm at a loss. How do you screw it up? I mean... she's still Morgaine... in that she has the same name. But. I mean. Igraine too... the only ones done more-or-less to character are Viviane and Morgause. And then, barely. And I guess it's understandable that they aged the women a little. It would be too shocking for today's audience if they had 19-year old Igraine with a four-year old child. Or 14-year old Morgause looking at Lot like he was a fine piece of meat. Still. I mean...

I dunno. The story... is still the same. In the same way that fettucini alfredo from Carraba's is the same as that four-dollar frozen stuff. -_-; But I. I may never like the movie again. I don't even want to watch any more of it. I want to go finish my INCREDIBLY DETAILED, PLOTTED, AND WRITTEN BOOK.

Aaaand I'm done.
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terezi
Jun. 6th, 2007 @ 02:25 pm Voice Post
VoicePost
815K 4:14
(no transcription available)
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terezi
Jun. 5th, 2007 @ 12:30 am (no subject)

... I've been nudged. ^_^ Therefore I shall update. 

I've pretty much been working. That's it. >.> I'm actually full of interesting stories today, but I think they're a bit TMI, personally. Leave it to this: Aunt Flo's in town, and MAN is she a bitch. 

Went to the Ren Fair yesterday. I have the feeling I'd like them a lot more if I were a) with people who were more into it, and would get me more into it or b)actually a part of it all. But I'm not, and the people that are know I'm not, and thus I felt a bit awkward and confused. Oh well. Still fun. The best part of my day was definitely getting to see Mike there in full armor. He really made everyone around him look silly. He just looked... awesome. Even Jenny, who was not comfortable and was, therefore, a bit critical of most people, was very impressed, and said so. He looked like what everyone else there probably dreamed of looking like one day. It was awesome (my thesauras is missing), truly. It could have only been better if Abi could have been there to complete the lovely set. 

Abi, I totally fangirled your husband when he wasn't looking. Dun tell. >.>;

After the Ren Fair we blundered about and ended up at Jen's (well, her mom's) watching Matilda and eating pizza. Made by Jenny. Mind you, the pizza was frozen. Funny story there. See, Jen's Mom's oven only has one rack. This makes for an interesting time trying to cook two pizzas. Jenny, being the determined young lass that she is, decided to try for it, but only after she'd already let the cheese pizza cook a bit. So she managed to wedge the pepperoni pizza in too, and  we sat back, pleased with her ingenuity. 

Until she went to check the pizza.

All we heard was a yelp, a thud sound, and Jenny cursing and calling for help. We ran in (well, I rather limped in since I was bent over clutching my tummy. I hate Aunt's.) to the kitchen to find her frantically holing the over door with one had and a large fork with the other. The fork was under the pep pizza, which, somehow, had <i>cooked itself into the oven door and stuck there</i>. So. Mae grabbed another fork, a much tinier one, might I add, and took the other corner of the pizza. I, between laughter, managed to take Jenny's fork and add my own to the collection. Jen went for a plate, Mae was burned by the door, and we managed to get the pep pizza out of danger. The cheese, forgotten in all the screaming and laughter, had, by the time, gotten all the way through "done" and come right out the other side. The cheese was a bit black. Tasted fine though. 

All in all, a good day. 

Today, not so much. Without going into detail, I managed to have to come home early to change clothes and pretty much did nothing all day but read. Because it hurt to move too much. Found that the cats had destroyed the kitchen. Cleaned it up. Cleaned a bit more. Jenny got home and we went to Wal-Mart for flea stuff and cleaning supplies. Gave cats a much-needed bath. Fleas hopefully dying. Mira was covered in them. We didn't even know until we had her wet and could see them. I'm taking her to the vet or something. The Flea stuff I used a few days ago isn't doing anything. She is nice and soft thoguh, just not flea-free, which was kinda the point. 

I hate fleas. 

Cleaned a lot after the baths. House looks pretty good. Hopefully going to concert tomorrow in knoxville. Good times. 

Aaaand I'm done. 

PS. I love Terry Pratchett more and more every day.

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terezi
May. 19th, 2007 @ 06:15 pm (no subject)
Tired. So tired. Work seemed like it was NEVER going to end, and I know why. It's cause I took my lunch break (the only break in my eight hours...) at 11:15. I got there at 9. >.> But I had to take it then if I wanted any of the food. Hell, Breanne took hers at 11:45 and she got there at 11. I can't imagine how much her day sucked. I shouldn't have had lunch until 2ish. -_-;

Abi will be here soon. I was gonna do some sort of cooking... thing. But the state of my kitchen and my feet has deterred me from attempting it. Subway will be fine. Or somewhere. Somewhere that doesn't involve me cooking.

I kinda want Texas Roadhouse cause mmmmmm steak. But wow, Subway would be cheaper. So. Subway? I'll see what Abi thinks. There are tons of great places around here. I'm ust too tired to think of them. Ha. Ha. (tired laugh)

Gonna go now.

Also, is other news. I love my cat. The end.
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terezi
May. 18th, 2007 @ 10:55 pm WARNING: This post contains NERDspeak. Continue cautiously.
May 25th is coming, Discworld fans. (Don't know what that means? Shame on you.) Remember your lilac... We were there. For a given value of there.




And if you aren't a Discworld fan... you're missing out. Go read some Terry Pratchett.

Also? It's towel day too, you froods. Be a double-nerd.
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terezi
May. 18th, 2007 @ 04:57 pm Please excuse typos due to parents' keyboard. It's crap.
Before anything else: Abi, I LOVE YOU. We need to talk. Like in person. And hang. And stuff. Have you seen Freedom Writers? (Or The Joy Luck Club? It's older, but awesome.) It's good. We could watch it. >.> Just saying. I've got it at my house. It's about three weeks overdue, so what's another few days? We could do it Saturday (tomorrow) after I get off work. And eat food. Which is good. ^_^ (Abi? When, exactly do you move? Cause... it's not soon, right? I was thinking it wasn't soon. Please don't let it be soon. ;_;)

I have not really written about the new job. That is because the new job is not so great and I'm not exactly thrilled about it. Thus, all my writing on it has been in private cause no one really wants to hear my bitching. Suffice it to say it's sucked and sucked HARD. But maybe is getting better? Mebbe?

Oh well. At the end of the summer, Citi awaits. ::crosses fingers::

Found a check for $76 tucked away from Subway. Where I worked in Feb of last year. >.> Got it cashed. /score! Funny story behind that, but I'm not gonna write it all here. Suffice it to say it brought back amusing memories.

So now I'm not quite as "stay-up-at-night-crying" depressed about money. I can buy water at work. Good times. Cause 8 hours with no water? Sucks. So. I get payed from new job for first time next Fri. Cannot wait. Should be good check. 40 hour weeks mean money, right?

Other than that, no real news. School was passed. No F's. Three A's. Not bad. Anthro didn't work out as well as hoped or as badly as feared. A C+. Considering I had a high fever during my final and remember none of it, I'm content. Art History... will be retaken as it was a D. But not an F. So I'll just be content for now.

Had a good day with teh Jenny, who, despite living with, I haven't really talked to in a while. Got to see the Hobo Tunnel. Good times.

And as a side note. I love my friends. I miss many of them. I would like to remedy that last part.
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terezi
May. 14th, 2007 @ 04:54 pm (no subject)
Is it July yet? Cause I'm ready to start working at Citi.

Life is so sucky.

In other news, and the main reason for this entry... after a week of confusion, thought, discussion, and intarweb research (mostly listening to the soundtrack), I believe I have decided to like Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I wish now to rewatch it with my new outlook.

I wish you were still here, Chad. Also. Answer your phone.
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terezi
May. 12th, 2007 @ 12:22 pm Revelations
Admittedly, my life is full of things I could be writing about that are very important, but in times of stress I like to monofocus on the small, unimportant things, and this is the one that's actually been holding my attention.

I'm not sure I like FFXII.

Also,to anyone who might comment, I haven't beaten the game yet. I just got the option of going to Bahamut, okay? So no spoilers kthxbi.

I am NOT bashing the FFXII. I am trying to figure things out. I would appreciate any helpful "but this is so coooool" or "but characterA is cool/tragic/3-D/awesome because..." things that anyone could point out. Because I WANT to love this game.

That doesn't seem like a big deal, right? But. But. I feel hurt and betrayed by this. And it's not really anything in particular. I don't dislike it. I just... I don't like it.

See, my love of video games comes from the characters. Then the technical stuff and the plot fight it out for my favorite. And often the technical stuff comes in as more important to me because I am a huge nerd.

So I can love a game if it has two out of three. Hell, I'll even go with just characters sometimes. BUT IT HAS TO HAVE THAT.

And XII... I don't know why I can't get into the characters. I mean, yeah, I LOVE Balthier and Fran for their attitude... but that's about it. I loved Lulu for her attitude, but I loved her for her quiet sorrow toward Chappu. I loved her for the scene in the Farplane where she talks about him. Fran and Balthier don't seem to have pulled me in that way. I still love them exponentially more than I love the others, but it's not the love I have for so many others.

Ashe... well, Princess kill-it-with-a-stick (as someone (Laylah/Kiwi maybe?)called her) is cute. And she's fierce. And I like that. I guess. But she's no Tifa, no Dagger. She just. She and I aren't connecting at all. It seems like we should be, but we're not.

And Vaan. I... don't even remember the point. This game is just so plot-oriented (not usually a bad thing!) that I haven't ever gotten that sense of empathy with the characters. And Vaan and I have suffered for it. I mean, he's supposed to be my little thief buddy. He's supposed to be one of my favorites cause of that. But all I can see is that his chest... what happened there, design people? Did we have to go so overboard there that it looks like he's wearing a particularly unflattering shirt? And his face is odd to me. I don't know. But he's not that pretty cause of those things, and he's lacking those extra dimensions that let me grasp characters like Zidane and, yes, even Tidus. Tidus was pretty. Tidus was ridiculously pretty. What happened?

Basch. Basch never had a chance with me. Warrior/Knight characters rarely do. They can only hope that I'll grow to like them because of other things. But Basch's suffering tragedy, on top of the warrior thing, means I never got into him. And there have been suffering strong men before him, characters that brooded and had tragic pasts that haunted them, or secrets they carried. I mean, Auron, yes? Auron and Basch aren't anything alike, but Auron has enough of the same qualities that surely to God I could love Basch. But no. Dun like him.

Penelo. Oh, Penelo. I had such high hopes for her. And, had she ever talked or had time to grow a personality, we might have had a love to rival all other cheerful side characters (Yuffie, Aeris, Eiko, Selphie, Rikku). Alas, Penelo, I didn't know you well. Why are you in the game again?

So. I don't love the characters (Balthier and Fran do come so close...). And, like I said, I can love a game for other things. But. Um.

The battle system was cool at first. It was cute that my characters could monitor their own health, cause in a ATB system where you individually control every character, and they have such a wide range of options, it's handy that they can heal themselves.

And then it becomes handy to have everyone automatically attack when you do. And then it becomes handy to have them cast a certain spell on a certain foe.
And then you realize, in horrified fascination, that the game is MASTURBATING right there in front of you and there is NOTHING you can do to stop it. Hell, if it could run on its own, you would be entirely superfluous. And you can stop it. You can control everyone individually. But with such a range of options and everything being in real-time, it gets really damn hectic in a big battle to make sure everyone is attacking the right thing.

I like the battle system. But it's difficult to find that balance that lets you play the game and not be frantically trying to get everyone to STOP STANDING THERE LOOKING LOST while, in the corner, Penelo dies a quiet death. And no one notices. -_-;

And the plot. Is a good plot. With plotty things. But plot is not enough. ;_;

I. I'm not trying to pee in anyone's cheerios. I'm not bashing the game. I'm trying to understand why I don't like it because I typically like FF games (IV not included) and I just. I feel hurt.
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terezi
May. 2nd, 2007 @ 05:29 pm I swear to God I'll make a happy post one day.
...

...

You know what would be just freakin perfect? If I had a brain tumor.

No, I don't really think I have a tumor. But I'm starting to wonder. I've been eating Tylenol like they're going out of style, and it's not working.

IT HURTS. and not in a normal headache place. In a funny place. that throbs when I walk. /whimper
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terezi
May. 2nd, 2007 @ 02:27 pm (no subject)
Sometimes, like when someone wakes me up a second time calling to have the same conversation they already had with me, I get confused. And then, while I'm trying to think (cause deja vu wtf) and they get mad at me, I get even more confused.

...

I am still so confused. Did I dream the first conversation? I should have just said I was asleep, instead of saying I was doing "nothing" when they asked. -_-; Oh well.

I wonder what I'm supposed to do now that they're all mad?
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terezi
Apr. 30th, 2007 @ 01:08 pm (no subject)
I have the Mongolian Death Flu. Or at least something very unpleasant. I managed to get it on Finals week. I just... -_-;;;

Bleh.
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terezi
Apr. 29th, 2007 @ 02:28 am (no subject)
Too many fics. Not enough time. Het Challenge is FLOODING my f-list. Which is good. But.

So if you've written fic lately (Caro, Sunhawk, Laylah for example) I've prolly read it and forgot to review. And I'm sorry. -_-; Caro's drabble (ficlet?) made me feel all warm inside, Rain was too short this week (it always is lol) but made me squee a little, and The SH:C fic Laylah wrote was to DIE for. Mmmmfusions.

And now I go to bed. Cause I ache all over. It's been a not-so-great day health wise. genki ja arimasen. ;_;
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terezi
Apr. 24th, 2007 @ 01:03 pm Um. And in other news.
http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/harrypotterandtheorderofthephoenix.html


EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Harry Potttttteeeeer! Eeee! (I feel ridiculously silly, but still.) OMGOMGOMGOMGitlookssogoodomgomg. LUNA! LUNA!!! /dies

And and and.

Hermione is so cool, have i mentioned it cause she is omg so cool i lovelovelove hermoione lawyas have yep omg omg omg and and and

Neville! omgNeville! How adorable! And Luna! Did I mention Luna? Cause omg.

Cho! Oh wow! And I forgot some of this stuff! The secret group of students, dolores, the twins, luna!, BELLA!, SNAAAAPE!eeee!, and um I don't know if I mentioned Hermione, but wow.

Now, since I'm (mostly) done with my squeeing, I need to go re-read all the books. Yes. And maybe watch some movies. Who knows.

(EEEEEEELunaHermioneSnapeBella/dies)

Um.

36 seconds into the trailer is the best part ever. <3 Snape.
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fangirlme
Apr. 24th, 2007 @ 12:47 pm I get all my news from LJ
...specifically from my f-list. -_-;

First, Dubya is an idiot.
http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=939B00BD-A012-463E-A119-A7AE0259939B&f=00&fg=copy

Second: This high school (in GA) just had its FIRST integrated prom. I wish I could say it's a joke...
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/23/turner.prom/index.html


That's all for now, and special thanks to the flist for keeping me up-to-date. Well. In some things.
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terezi
Apr. 20th, 2007 @ 05:45 pm What do you believe?
I believe:

I believe in a higher power. I'm not always sure what it is, and sometimes I wonder if it really loves us the way we want to think it does, but I believe in it all the same.

I believe that there are very few things in life that cannot be overcome by pure will and wit.

I believe that medication isn't the answer.

I believe that video games don't kill people: teenagers who are far too open to outside influences and don't have parents who care kill people.

I believe that Mt. Dew is the only drink worth fighting for, and that Mellow Yellow and Diet Mt. Dew are sins against Nature.

I believe that cats are much more intelligent than they're letting on.

I believe that humans cannot exist without battle as long as men rule.

I believe that humans will destroy themselves.

I believe that some people, by circumstance more than birth, are truly heroes.

I believe in true Good.

I believe in true Evil.

I believe that no human is all of either, but some strange mix of the two.

I believe that people are selfish and cruel.

I believe in peace.

I believe that freedom of speech is sacred, as is freedom of protest.

I believe that people who abuse these freedoms in deliberately hurtful ways, like protesting the funerals of the VT victims, should be shot and sent to burn in hell for all of eternity, and may the devil himself spit on their darkness.

I believe that if you don't have the balls to admit when you're lying, cheating, or being a hypocrite there should be no pity, no compassion when you say you feel guilt.

I believe that MySpace in unreflective of real life.

I believe that anime and manga are great, but I'm not about to go batshit crazy over them.

I believe that anyone who is mentally below 17 should be banned from the internet. Especially fandom.

I believe that Japanese is truly one of the most beautiful languages I've ever heard.

I believe that there's always a second chance, but almost never a third.

I believe in carpe diem.

I believe that reading is better than video games 9 times out of 10.

I believe that books are doors to other worlds, and that people who don't read are much diminished by the lack.

I believe that Terry Pratchett is one of the greatest authors of all time.

I believe that spiders are truly evil creatures who are just waiting for a way to crawl on me.

I believe in the power of prayer.

I believe ADD/ADHD is barely a disorder and is definitely not a crutch or an excuse.

I believe that, if people choose, they can overcome their demons.

I believe there is good in us all.

I believe there is no sweeter sound than a baby's laugh.

I believe that we are all connected.

I believe in magic.

I believe that everything has a spirit, and denying that is just silly.

I believe in astrology.

I believe that laughter is the best medicine.

I believe realy friends can go and come back without ever losing that feeling of comfort.

I believe in sisters born to different parents.

I believe in true love; not the romantic kind that get put in books where the protaganist's bodice is ripped, but the gritty "I'll never leave, never let go, no matter what happens, damn it" kind that real people can still find.

I believe it's ok for your mother to be your best friend.

I believe it's ok for your mother to be your best enemy.

I believe in pirate morals.

I believe sex and love are completely seperate things.

I believe more people should know that.
Ease the pain?
terezi
Apr. 18th, 2007 @ 12:32 pm I LOL'd
^_^


--Go to Google.com
--Click on Maps.
--Click on Get Directions. (at the top)
--From New York , New York
--To Paris , France .
--And read line # 23.

If you laugh then repost this.
Ease the pain?
terezi